By Erin Kalejs
Like most people do when they’re bored and can’t sleep, I found myself scrolling through my explore page on Instagram. In my case it was flooded with a stream of clips from new stand up comics. Instagram’s algorithm must have picked up on my obsession with stand up comedy.
I ended up coming across a New York based comedian called Molly Kornfeld, and was instantly in stitches listening to her joke about getting humbled by a catcall that turned out to be an insult. There is a frankness and relatability to her jokes that made me automatically sense she had stories to tell and I wanted to hear more of them, so I did.
She is able to make important points about our culture, relationships and what it’s like to be a single young woman in the Big Apple, and does it in a way that is insightful and hilarious.
Despite growing up with two stand up comics for parents, becoming a comedian was not Molly’s lifelong dream. “I didn’t think I wanted anything to do with it, because it was a chaotic household,” but then “I graduated from college and was working in insurance and wasn’t feeling passionate about anything so I started doing stand up on a whim.”
When I asked her what made her take the leap into stand up, she told me it was when she realized that when was talking to people “I was almost doing comedy bits at bars and then I randomly met this girl through a friend of a friend who was talking about how she wanted to get into stand up and go to open mics, so we started doing that together.”
Throughout our conversation Molly was refreshingly candid, as I’ve noticed most comics are. In the latest episode of my podcast show Small Talk we discussed the meanest but funniest heckle she’s gotten so far, improvising on stage, and why stand up comedy still feels like a boy’s club. A lightly edited transcript of that portion of our conversation follows.
The Curve: Who are your biggest comedic influences?
Molly Kornfeld: This is weird, but I don’t watch comedy, I never have. I don’t like getting home and watching comedy specials, it doesn’t appeal to me. But when I first started and didn’t know what I was doing I did watch Amy Schumer’s “Mostly Sex Stuff” special and I think that really helped me figure out how to say my point of view in a way that was funny. At first I was just saying things I thought were funny but weren’t necessarily jokes so I learnt how to do the setup and punchline and craft my jokes from watching Amy.
TC: Is the reason why you don’t watch stand up comedy in your free time because you feel like you’ll compare yourself to other comedians too much?
MK: One thing is that since I’m spending so much time doing this and thinking about it, when I’m trying to relax I don’t want to think about it at all. The other thing is, and I think we all do this and it’s not on purpose but like not necessarily joke stealing but taking on an act of someone’s, like they do a throwaway thing and then you start doing it and you realize you’re sort of doing someone else’s bit. I don’t want that to happen either so I think it’s a combination of those two things, but people are always saying I need to watch more comedy and I probably should.
TC: What was it about stand up that attracted you to it over other forms of comedy like improv and sketch?
MK: I think it’s because it’s a solo thing, the idea of improv and relying on other people to build something stresses me out a little bit. What I do like about stand up is that you’re being yourself but kind of an exaggerated version of yourself. Sometimes I go up there and I feel really natural and like myself but then I ramp it up a bit when I’m getting in the zone, but it doesn’t feel like a lot of effort to become that persona.
TC: How do you come up with new material?
MK: Sometimes I’m just thinking about things and then I’m like “maybe that’s a bit!” and I write it down but it’s mostly just from life. I feel like most of my material is about being single and in New York so when I go out on dates and meet people it turns into material. I also do a lot of writing on stage, a riff or something I say to someone will turn into a joke. I’ve elongated heckles in the past that have turned into bits so it’s a lot of that too. I don’t really have a strict process.
TC: So, it sounds like you improvise a lot when you’re on stage?
MK: Yeah I do and sometimes it bombs really bad [laughs] but sometimes it’s fun and the audience loves it! I feel like if the crowd gets to know me more they will like my jokes more but it can go either way though because sometimes they can get too chatty.
TC: What’s the best heckle you’ve heard so far?
MK: Oh my god! Well I did turn this into a joke but I was humiliated! [Laughs] I said this joke where I say this guy told me I look like a cross between Winona Ryder and Anne Frank and when I did the joke this drunk guy in the audience yelled out, “a well fed Anne Frank!” and I was like “what the fuck was that?” But then I added it into the bit and turned into a whole other thing so I was like “thank god he said that, he’s boosting my career!”
TC: Overall, what would you say is the most challenging thing about doing stand up?
MK: It’s very competitive and I feel like no one around you really knows what they’re doing and you’re just constantly comparing yourself to others. Sometimes you just have to turn that off but it’s hard, especially since right now in New York there are so many stand up comics and you can’t help but compare yourself to other people so it’s easy to spiral since it’s so uncertain.
“As a woman when you get opportunities you’ll hear “she’s not funny, she just got that because they need a woman.” I feel like there’s a lot of opinions coming at you and it can sometimes be a bit of a boys’ club. “
TC: What is it like to currently be a female comic? Even though there are so many more women in comedy now then there’s ever been like Niki Glaser, and Sarah Silverman, etc. do you think stand up is still male dominated?
MK: Yes and I think that men don’t like female comics, [laughs], because now even when I post a clip of me on Instagram doing a joke and I mention sex at all, 50% of the comments are from men being like “women comics only talk about sex” which I think is not true and also who cares? So many male comics talk about sex, so what does it matter what you’re talking about, it shouldn’t make it automatically not funny.
Also I think as a female comic it’s harder to figure out how I want to present myself on stage, like do I want to cover my body up, or show my body because I’m feeling confident in myself? You get a lot of comments regardless of how you dress. But you do feel like if you wear a crop top, are they objectifying me and not listening to me?
As a woman when you get opportunities you’ll hear “she’s not funny, she just got that because they need a woman.” I feel like there’s a lot of opinions coming at you and it can sometimes be a bit of a boys’ club. When male comics joke around with each other I’m not sure how to enter the conversation. It’s like “can we have a normal conversation and not just do bits at each other and compare where we are in our careers?” The male energy can be a bit much for me, sometimes male comics can be a bit sexist backstage and not even realize it.
TC: Does anything specific come to mind?
MK: I think a lot of men in comedy, fundamentally at their core believe that men are funnier than women. I have this theory that for men and women in comedy relationships will not work unless the man is more successful because of the man’s ego but I don’t know if it’s true it’s just my theory.
Anyways, I was telling this to a male comic and he was like “I wouldn’t mind if my wife was more successful than me, because she’d take me on tour and I’d open for her and then I’d crush and she wouldn’t be able to follow me.” So I was like even in this fake scenario where you have a more successful partner, she’s still not as funny as you! When I hear things like that I just don’t think they realize how they sound.
TC: Once you’re up there on stage, what makes it all worth it?
MK: I just have so much fun when I’m up there and feel really in my element, interacting with the crowd. When I have a good set I’m in such a good mood but even when I’m up there trying out new jokes I’m actually enjoying what I’m doing. Prior to doing stand up I’ve never been passionate about anything I was working on so I find it extremely rewarding.
TC: Do you have a favorite joke that you do, even if it doesn’t get a big laugh you love it anyways and leave it in your set?
MK: Yes I do! It’s one where I’m complaining about this man who canceled on me last minute because he was tired, and that did actually happen to me. So in the bit I say “he said he was tired and wanted to practice self-care and I was like you are a six foot-four, straight white man, that is self care! What else do you have to do? You wake up and you’re living it!” But no one ever finds it funny, but really what I’m trying to say is what do you have to be tired from? Your life is blessed! Sometimes a few women might laugh and men hate it so I get silence most of the time but continue to say it because my voice must be heard! [laughs]
TC: What’s next for you?
MK: Well right now everyone’s saying that social media content is what you have to do all the time, so I’m really focusing on that but also taking the time to work on my writing and reaching out to managers. I also have a few ideas for sketches, and have been wanting to do something with my parents since they’re also comics and have big personalities, just little clips of us could be fun. I’m just going to continue to put myself out there.
For much more with Kornfeld, including what her first show was like, and how she deals with bombing listen to the full episode below or on spotify
You can follow Molly Kornfeld’s comedy on social media:
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